When one animal in a multi-pet household passes away, the emotional climate at home can feel noticeably different. Pets pick up on even the subtlest shifts. In some cases, the surviving cat might stop settling into a once-favored windowsill, or the dog might begin pacing restlessly at odd hours. It’s a reminder that animals, like people, can experience stress, confusion, and even grief when a companion is no longer there.
If you’ve recently experienced a loss and are navigating aftercare decisions such as pet cremation or pet aquamation, know that your surviving pets may also be processing the absence in their own way.
How to calm a stressed dog or cat following the loss of a companion is a question I’m often asked. It’s important to recognize that the goal isn’t to “fix” these feelings overnight. Instead, it’s about offering comfort and reassurance in gentle, steady ways. The important thing is to approach this process with patience, understanding, and empathy.
Here are ten strategies that can support your surviving pet as they navigate life after a companion’s loss. Every animal responds differently, so consider these suggestions a flexible set of tools to try over time.
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Try a Pet Pheromone Diffuser
A pheromone diffuser emits synthetic versions of the comforting scents that mother animals use to reassure their offspring. These invisible chemical signals can help reduce tension by creating a sense of emotional “safety.” Simply plug one into an outlet and allow its subtle scent to settle into the space. Over time, the environment may feel less uncertain for your pet, helping them rest and feel more secure. -
Put on Pet-Specific Music
Calming soundtracks designed specifically for animals—often featuring soft instrumentation or specific frequencies—have been studied for their ability to lower heart rates and ease tension. Consider playing gentle music at a low volume, especially during times your pet seems most unsettled. Think of it like ambient background noise that offers reassurance. Instead of silence that can make loss feel louder, the soothing rhythms create a comforting auditory backdrop.
Several online platforms and services specialize in pet sounds song lists, designed specifically to calm pets. A few resources include:
iCalmPet: Known for their “Through a Dog’s Ear” and “Through a Cat’s Ear” series, iCalmPet offers science-backed audio programs created by veterinary neurologists and music specialists.
RelaxMyDog and RelaxMyCat: Both channels provide playlists designed to reduce stress and anxiety in pets. Their YouTube channels and apps feature playlists that owners can stream at home.
Spotify and Other Streaming Services: Searching “dog calming music,” “cat relaxing music,” or “pet relaxation” on Spotify, Apple Music, and similar platforms will often yield playlists curated specifically to soothe animals. -
Consider Calming Supplements (Including CBD)
There are a range of supplements, such as L-theanine or chamomile-based treats, formulated to help calm dog and cat anxiety naturally. CBD products have also gained popularity, though it’s best to use these under veterinary guidance. These aren’t instant cures, but they may help take the edge off. Think of them as mild support—similar to a warm cup of tea for a stressed mind—providing gentle relief as your pet adjusts to life without their companion. -
Keep a Steady Routine
Predictability can play a powerful role in easing an animal’s worry. Keep feeding, walks, and playtime on a consistent schedule. This helps reinforce a sense of normalcy: the world still has reliable patterns they can count on. While you can’t bring back their friend, you can show them that life’s core rhythms—meals at the usual hour, a walk when the sun is low—remain intact. -
Gentle Exercise and Mental Stimulation
Physical activity and brain-engaging puzzles can offer a positive outlet for lingering stress. A relaxed walk through familiar territory gives your dog time to sniff and process the day’s new reality. Puzzle feeders or slow, steady play sessions can help redirect anxious energy. Over time, these gentle activities may guide your pet from restlessness toward a calmer, more balanced state. -
Create a Cozy, Private Space
Set aside a quiet corner of the home as a “safe zone.” A comfortable crate lined with soft bedding or a secluded cat tree partially hidden by a curtain can serve as a refuge. In these quiet spaces, your pet can retreat whenever they feel overwhelmed. By giving them control over when to engage and when to withdraw, you’re signaling that it’s okay to take breaks and find solace on their own terms. -
Massage and Gentle Grooming Sessions
Slow, soothing strokes or a gentle brushing session can calm tense muscles and lower stress hormones. Some pets benefit from the focused touch of a certified animal massage therapist, but many are simply comforted by the quiet attention of someone they trust. These sessions provide more than physical relief—they offer emotional support, communicating care through a reassuring hand. -
Use Calming Scents (With Guidance)
Certain scents, such as lavender, have been associated with reduced stress behaviors in dogs. If you’re considering aromatherapy, first consult your veterinarian to ensure any product you use is pet-safe. A light hint of a calming scent in a well-ventilated space can help encourage relaxation. This subtle environmental cue, used responsibly, may help ease some of the tension lingering after loss. -
Offer One-on-One Bonding Time
When one animal in the household is gone, the dynamic changes—leaving the remaining pet without a familiar presence. Extra moments of companionship can fill that void. Whether it’s a few extra minutes of gentle play, a calm evening spent quietly side-by-side, or short training exercises that reward positive engagement, dedicated attention can rebuild a sense of connection and stability. -
Seek Professional Help if Changes Persist
If your pet’s anxiety doesn’t improve or their behavior significantly declines, consult with your veterinarian. Sometimes stress or grief may be masking an underlying issue, such as illness, undiagnosed pain or an early cognitive shift. An expert can help pinpoint the root cause and suggest targeted strategies, whether that’s medication, adjusted routines, or specialized therapies.
Finding Balance After Loss
Easing a pet’s stress following the loss of a companion isn’t about erasing the sadness or pretending it never happened. Instead, it’s about offering comfort, maintaining routines, and exploring gentle interventions that acknowledge the new emotional landscape. As time passes and trust rebuilds, your pet can regain confidence in their world—one step, one quiet moment, one reassuring gesture at a time.
Use these approaches as starting points, adapting as needed and paying close attention to how your pet responds. With patience and understanding, you can help guide them toward calmer days.