Recognize grief in surviving pets and learn routines and rituals that help them heal.
Grief in animals may look different from person to person—and pet to pet—but many families report consistent patterns after a bonded companion passes. Dogs and cats often show changes in appetite, sleep, and activity; some pace or vocalize more, while others retreat to quiet spaces or seem unusually clingy. You might notice searching behaviors—lingering at favorite windows, sniffing beds, or waiting by the door around the time their companion used to return. These are not “bad” behaviors; they are understandable signs of confusion and adjustment. Evidence suggests pets can experience grief-like responses when a household companion dies, particularly when the animals were closely bonded, shared routines, or depended on each other for social comfort. Helpful summaries and research overviews include JAVMA report: Study suggests pets grieve from the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA). Because grief manifests along a spectrum, start with careful observation. Track appetite (including interest in treats), water intake, sleep-wake cycles, elimination patterns, and willingness to engage in normal activities. A dog that abruptly refuses walks, or a cat that hides for days, may be signaling distress beyond a transient dip in mood. Likewise, sudden house-soiling, destructive chewing, or overgrooming can be stress responses rather than “disobedience.” Note any potential medical causes; pain, dental disease, or nausea can mimic behavioral changes associated with grief. If you’re unsure, a prompt health check is appropriate—especially for senior pets. As you assess, try to reduce additional stressors. Keep furniture, feeding stations, and litter boxes in familiar locations. If you need to rearrange beds or bowls that belonged to the deceased pet, do so gradually. Some families find comfort in allowing the surviving pet to smell a blanket or collar; others prefer a clean slate. There’s no single rule—watch your pet’s reactions and let their comfort guide you. For additional perspective on pet loss and grief, AVMA client brochures like AVMA: Pet Loss and Grief offer compassionate guidance for families.
Practical support begins with predictability. Routines—mealtimes, walks, play windows, and bedtime rituals—create a scaffold of safety when the world suddenly feels different. Anchoring your day around these keystones can ease anxiety and help your pet rebuild confidence. Keep the tone relaxed and reassuring; avoid excessive fussing that may inadvertently reward restless behaviors, but do increase gentle engagement and positive attention. Short, frequent interactions are more soothing than occasional, intense sessions. For dogs, consider low-impact enrichment that mixes comfort with movement: scent games using hidden treats, relaxed sniffy walks, and calm, cooperative care (grooming, massage, gentle brushing). For cats, integrate vertical space, cozy hideaways, and foraging puzzles that encourage curiosity without pressure. Maintain access to favorite resting spots—sunny windowsills, sofas, or an owner’s workstation—so your pet can choose closeness or solitude. If the deceased pet was the “play leader,” you may need to take on that role with structured but mellow activities. Aim for consistency, not novelty. Support appetite gently. Warm food slightly, add a palatable topper, or hand-feed small portions to rebuild interest. For cats, ensure litter boxes are plentiful, quiet, and scrupulously clean; for dogs, keep elimination schedules steady. Soft music, calming pheromone diffusers, and familiar scents can reduce arousal in the home environment. Families with children can invite them to participate in simple caregiving—refreshing water bowls, creating a cozy blanket nest, or building a small memory shelf—transforming worry into helpful action. Watch the line between adaptive sadness and prolonged distress. If the surviving pet isolates for more than a few days, stops eating for 24–48 hours, or exhibits escalating anxiety (e.g., nonstop pacing, howling, persistent house-soiling, or self-injury), consult your veterinarian. Sometimes short-term anxiolytics, appetite stimulants, pain control, or targeted behavior plans help. Veterinary grief resources, including AVMA: Pet Euthanasia (Client Brochure), provide context on transitions that may affect behavior after a loss.
If your pet’s grief persists, or if you’re feeling stuck as a family, reach out. Your primary veterinarian can rule out medical causes and suggest behavior supports; they may also refer you to a credentialed trainer or veterinary behaviorist. Sudden changes in a multi-pet household—like reassigning beds or feeding places—can increase tension, so make adjustments gradually and plan plenty of decompression time. If you’re considering adopting another pet to “fill the void,” wait until routines stabilize and you can assess what your surviving pet truly wants. Many animals need weeks or months before they’re open to a new relationship. Ritual helps. Create a simple home memorial: a candle near a framed photo, a pawprint keepsake, a planted tree or native shrub, or a digital tribute where friends share stories and images. Involving children in choices—selecting a photo, crafting a memory box, or writing a goodbye letter—turns grief into meaningful remembrance. Gentle ceremonies can occur at home or in a dedicated comfort space, and can be as brief or elaborate as you need. As you honor your pet’s memory, consider resources that align with your family’s values. Eco-conscious families might choose living memorials or biodegradable keepsakes; others prefer jewelry or art that keeps a companion close. Whatever you choose, prioritize continuity and transparency in aftercare so the process itself feels respectful. Educational materials from veterinarians and professional bodies can reduce uncertainty; the AVMA’s Pet Euthanasia Brochure and their research summaries on grief can help you talk openly about loss. Healing is not linear, but with patience, routine, and compassionate structure, most pets regain their equilibrium—and, in time, their joy.